Category Archives: Grief Work

Balancing Roads, Clouds, Balls and Boxes

When Gabriel died, someone gave me the image of grief as a road trip. You drive for several hours, maybe you get half way and have to turn around or stop for a while. This image sort of worked, except … Continue reading

Posted in Grief, Grief Work | 1 Comment

Still Her

Am I still the same? Has anything really changed? I left the house at 7 am this morning, to go to the lab. I drive in the dark and the ice, thinking about all of the times I have done … Continue reading

Posted in Grief Work | 5 Comments

Right When

She asked me, my niece, during one of our long phone calls on Monday when I came into the light. It is my family’s term, but a good one. My son died, and there was darkness, and then, slowly, I … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Grief Work | 14 Comments

Stacking Wood

Perhaps the greatest problem with the hours I am working is not the fatigue or the trying to be all things to all people, it’s the lack of time I have for thought. The lack of time I give to … Continue reading

Posted in Grief Work | 10 Comments

Voices

I most often read the posts on Glow and while I love them, I never know quite how to answer the questions at the end.  I don’t know what I think or I feel, only that I do. I don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Grief Work | 6 Comments

Stuart

I went to the Vinyl Cafe Christmas Concert last night. I went, enjoyed myself annnnnnnd. . . . that’s not where this story starts. A few weeks ago I wrote Stuart McLean an email. Well, I went to his website … Continue reading

Posted in Grief Work | 12 Comments

Art Glass

Suddenly, it is thrown to you, and you hold this grief in your own two hands, and you begin to look at it. And at first, you think it is an ornament, frail, tender, fragile, some sort of flower and … Continue reading

Posted in Grief Work | 13 Comments

Anger and Forgiveness

It has taken me 18 or so months to finally forgive once dear friends their carelessness with us after Gabriel’s death. And that’s what it was, not malice or meanness, just carelessness. It was a lack of thought and foresight, … Continue reading

Posted in Grief Work | 20 Comments

i do not know

I went to bed last night thinking about one blog entry, and I came awake, abruptly this morning thinking about another. Mostly, I’m thinking of what I know (very little) and what I haven’t figured out, since Gabriel’s death. I … Continue reading

Posted in Gabriel, Grief Work | 32 Comments

I tell myself

I tell myself the same thing I tell all the new dbm’s. That it is only scary the first time. The first time it hurts so bad you think your heart will explode. The second time? Oh, it still hurts, … Continue reading

Posted in Gabriel, Grief Work | 15 Comments