Category Archives: TTC # 2

From Here

I wrote, last Saturday, all of the posts you saw this week, save this one. This one started on Thursday morning, from my desk. All week I have watched what I wrote on Saturday publish, knowing I needed to write … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel, Life After Children, TTC # 2 | 24 Comments

Change Your Hair, Change Your Life

Last Thursday, sitting in my hairdressers chair at 5:20 pm, I decided on the spur of the moment to change my hair colour. I have been a red head for most of my life. By 8 pm, I was a … Continue reading

Posted in Flying with Warthog Air, Pre-Eclampsia, TTC # 2 | 16 Comments


I did a smart thing at the end of May. It’s such a remarkably smart thing, I’m a bit astonished at myself. I had a very nice dinner out with Kuri for her birthday, and I came home a bit … Continue reading

Posted in TTC # 2 | 17 Comments


My yoga teacher has this phrase, when she is asking us to pay attention to our bodies or our breath, to what our mind flits to while it should be still. “Be curious”, she says. I like this notion of … Continue reading

Posted in TTC # 2 | 16 Comments


I think what Mr. T was trying to say was that I was entitled to whine. I bet (although Mr. T wouldn’t, and that’s another story). He’s fine at communicating, but I’m perhaps not always good at listening. And he’s … Continue reading

Posted in irrelevant reverence, TTC # 2 | 18 Comments


I went to Audrey’s, our local book store, last night, to buy a copy of Sense and Sensibility. I am only buying this book because I bought Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, and I started reading that, and I … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, TTC # 2 | 21 Comments

It is not

It is not the sheer physicality of another miscarriage that’s distressing me. It’s not all this damn blood and the wincing pain and the hormone induced emotional crash. I cry, but tears of frustration and rage as much as sorrow. … Continue reading

Posted in TTC # 2 | 65 Comments


The Christmas after Gabe died, my best friend bought me the Willow Tree Angel of Courage.I suspect that she intended to buy me one of the pregnant ones, and I think she settled on Courage, mostly because there is no … Continue reading

Posted in TTC # 2 | 20 Comments

Found Time

I am sitting here at my computer, and I should really be outside. I will write until my coffee maker beeps at me, telling me my decaf is done, and then I will sit in my chair and watch the … Continue reading

Posted in Gardening, TTC # 2 | 13 Comments

I’d like to scream

Really, I’d like to scream. I packed up at least some of my maternity clothes today, to give to a co-worker. And I’m glad that’s she’s expecting. That’s not what makes me want to scream. But, I’ve told a few … Continue reading

Posted in Grief, TTC # 2 | 35 Comments