Category Archives: Baby Loss

Not Me

Posted on August 4, 2020 by Mrs. Spit

I’ve been on a few dates with a guy. We’ll call him Mr. Ice Cream. (Yes, dating during a pandemic is weird.) He was at my house last night, eating dinner. In the corner of my dining room is a … Continue reading →

Posted in Adult Dating, Baby Loss, Pandemic | 2 Comments

It Passes

Posted on May 11, 2020 by Mrs. Spit

The day passed. It was harder than many: it was cold and rainy, with the sort of overnight temperatures that make planting bedding plants unwise. The garden I spread my mum’s ashes in remains closed, so I could not go … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss | 1 Comment

What does a Mother Look Like

Posted on May 10, 2019 by Mrs. Spit

Thus far, a flower store I often use sent me a reminder about flowers. West Jet told me what my mother most wanted was a trip (I’d say she took her final and perpetual vacation in December of 2014, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss | 3 Comments

Need Help

Posted on May 2, 2019 by Mrs. Spit

When I wrote about the break in, I told all of you that I would order a replacement bracelet for Gabe. Except I can’t. the website still exists, but repeated inquiries and requests have gone unanswered. So I did a … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss | 4 Comments

Carry you With Me

Posted on April 11, 2019 by Mrs. Spit

I tell people that politics is a family sport. My grandfather, my mother, me. I apparently (I don’t remember this) door knocked in my first election when I was 5. I don’t remember the first one, but I remember many … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 5 Comments

Three Reasons

Posted on January 25, 2019 by Mrs. Spit

There were three reasons for the second dram of scotch tonight (which might yet turn into a 3rd dram). I could tell you about the contract negotiations that have consumed most of my waking hours since Jan 7th, but frankly … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Flying with Warthog Air | 2 Comments

Grief Smells Like Tuna Fish

Posted on March 25, 2018 by Mrs. Spit

After Gabe died, when I came home from the hospital, I remember eating tuna fish casserole. Alone. I hate tuna fish casserole, I ate it because I could not figure out how to cook and I needed to eat.  I … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss | 1 Comment

Bi-Cameral

Posted on December 11, 2017 by Mrs. Spit

Ten years on, it is a strange thing to celebrate your child’s birth and mourn their death. You receive texts and calls and messages from friends. You are reminded that you do not mourn alone. But you go and live … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | Leave a comment

Half Hanged Mary

Posted on May 23, 2017 by Mrs. Spit

A friend-ish frequently comments that I am driven and determined. He simply does not get it. I am neither. I live with almost no fear. It is simple and profound. The sort of thing that cuts beyond the quick and … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 1 Comment

Public and Private

Posted on May 15, 2017 by Mrs. Spit

For the most part, you build a sort of scar tissue. On Monday morning, you exhale. Mother’s day is not for me. The only thing Mother’s day does for broken children,  for the bereaved mother and the barren woman is … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Grief | 4 Comments