Category Archives: Baby Loss

Half Hanged Mary

Posted on May 23, 2017 by Mrs. Spit

A friend-ish frequently comments that I am driven and determined. He simply does not get it. I am neither. I live with almost no fear. It is simple and profound. The sort of thing that cuts beyond the quick and … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 1 Comment

Public and Private

Posted on May 15, 2017 by Mrs. Spit

For the most part, you build a sort of scar tissue. On Monday morning, you exhale. Mother’s day is not for me. The only thing Mother’s day does for broken children,  for the bereaved mother and the barren woman is … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Grief | 4 Comments

Surplus to Requirements

Posted on May 10, 2017 by Mrs. Spit

I’ve never liked Mother’s day. Trying to please a mentally ill mother is no one’s idea of a good time. I did or didn’t become a mother, depending on how you want to define that word. My mother died. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Learning Life | 5 Comments

And So I Lied

Posted on March 7, 2017 by Mrs. Spit

She wasn’t prying. I’m in a medical situation, getting a drug, and she had to ask about my past medical history. Pre-eclampsia, with long-term minor kidney damage and very mild hypertension, the fact they gave me a ton of blood, … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Grief | 4 Comments

Letting Go

Posted on March 9, 2016 by Mrs. Spit

The City of Edmonton has approved backyard chicken coops. If you are me, this is of interest because you have this image of yourself: Wearing a long skirt (that I don’t own), a gauzy cotton blouse (that I also don’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, It's an Ordinary Day | 1 Comment

Options Analysis

Posted on January 19, 2016 by Mrs. Spit

Perhaps it was the whiplash. I grabbed a tea with a friend yesterday at lunch and Gabriel and his death came up. The article – the whiplash as it were – was from a study reported in a national paper. The … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel, Pre-Eclampsia | 2 Comments

Spring Thaw

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Mrs. Spit

(For context, I realize that October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month, and the day is observed on October 15. I have had very mixed feelings about the social media comments I have seen and have struggled to articulate … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Grief | 2 Comments

Weak in the Knees

Posted on March 31, 2015 by Mrs. Spit

Get off the elevator, turn right. The door is in the corner. Turn the handle and open it. Walk into that waiting room.  Or just stand in front of the door, looking at the list of names. Trying to breath … Continue reading →

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Moonlight on Oceans – Redux

Posted on March 23, 2015 by Mrs. Spit

My life has been so much like the rocks on the beach, almost drowning as the ocean washes over me each time. It has been an exhausting struggle to put one foot in front of the other. Tonight, I stood … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss, Learning Life | Leave a comment

12 Minutes

Posted on February 18, 2015 by Mrs. Spit

On Sunday I was having a conversation with someone, and I walked away because it felt like it was turning a bit into the pain olympics. The reality is that I know that I can win the pain olympics, at … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Loss | 1 Comment