Category Archives: Baby Loss

Spring Thaw

(For context, I realize that October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month, and the day is observed on October 15. I have had very mixed feelings about the social media comments I have seen and have struggled to articulate … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Grief | 2 Comments

Weak in the Knees

Get off the elevator, turn right. The door is in the corner. Turn the handle and open it. Walk into that waiting room.  Or just stand in front of the door, looking at the list of names. Trying to breath … Continue reading

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Moonlight on Oceans – Redux

My life has been so much like the rocks on the beach, almost drowning as the ocean washes over me each time. It has been an exhausting struggle to put one foot in front of the other. Tonight, I stood … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Learning Life | Leave a comment

12 Minutes

On Sunday I was having a conversation with someone, and I walked away because it felt like it was turning a bit into the pain olympics. The reality is that I know that I can win the pain olympics, at … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss | 1 Comment

Can Come to any Good

7 years ago today I went into the hospital for what might have been called a routine test based on a minor concern. My blood pressure was a bit high. If I remember anything, when I think back, I remember … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 4 Comments

Bucket List

After I was diagnosed with MS, everyone kept asking me what was on the bucket list for me, what I needed to do sooner rather than later. . . And I had no answers. I’ve never really kept one. I … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 4 Comments

A Dreadful Weightlessness

It’s the sort of comment that is so carelessly thrown out and it floats in the air weightless. If it finds a weakness, it sinks in at that spot, driving where it finds deep into the ground. Most of the … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 12 Comments

Syncopation

Back when I used to sing in choirs, occasionally in the alto line you would wind up providing syncopation to the soprano line. Syncopation is one of those 5 dollar words that means throwing something off kilter  in music, quite … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Life After Children | 5 Comments

Mother’s Day

Mostly it’s just another Sunday. Another day of finishing some work for next week, packing a suitcase, cooking dinner, cheering on a niece and cleaning out the cat litter Until that moment I stop: I pull out Gabe’s scrapbook. Flip … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 7 Comments

These Moments

I am sitting in a plane, in business class and I happen to be chatting to the man sitting next to me. His wife is 13 weeks pregnant and has not stopped barfing. I know from barfing when you are … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss | 20 Comments