Category Archives: Gabriel

Half Hanged Mary

A friend-ish frequently comments that I am driven and determined. He simply does not get it. I am neither. I live with almost no fear. It is simple and profound. The sort of thing that cuts beyond the quick and … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 1 Comment


You wouldn’t think they would play “You are my sunshine” at a country concert. Or that it would hit me like that. There were 3 songs that I sang him. What came into my head quite without thinking. We played … Continue reading

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Fierceness Written Within

They didn’t know where it came from – this calm fierceness. All they saw was the woman who got up, dumped out last night’s scotch, made coffee, ate her cereal out of a plastic bowl. Went back out to face another … Continue reading

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Taller than I

I took my niece to the 100th anniversary of universal suffrage at the Alberta legislature, and as I stood behind her, with my hands on her shoulders, I joked that I needed to weigh her down. By this time next … Continue reading

Posted in Gabriel, Gardening, The language of families, the nieces and nephews, Tiny Points of Light | 3 Comments

Options Analysis

Perhaps it was the whiplash. I grabbed a tea with a friend yesterday at lunch¬†and Gabriel and his death came up. The article – the whiplash as it were – was from a study reported in a national paper. The … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel, Pre-Eclampsia | 2 Comments

It’s a Sad Story

I find myself in these places and someone asks a question about him and, I, well, I sigh. I will tell you, I say. It’s a sad story. It was a long time ago and it’s ok now, but it … Continue reading

Posted in Gabriel | 12 Comments

See All Memories from August 24

This morning Facebook showed me photo’s of my old dog.¬†There was her face, with a big doggy grin. Two years ago today we were at the vet’s in that photo and she was probably getting a dose of the arthritis … Continue reading

Posted in Gabriel, irrelevant reverence | 1 Comment

Now and Then

Last night, in the bath tub, I did what I always do on the anniversary of Gabriel’s death. I looked at his photo’s and I allowed myself some time to remember and weep. The first photo of me holding him, … Continue reading

Posted in Gabriel, The language of families | 2 Comments

Always With Me

Gradually my memory of him, of the way he smelled, the feel of him in my arms has slipped away from me. You wouldn’t think a mother could forget this, and yet to see me, you wouldn’t think of me … Continue reading

Posted in Gabriel | 9 Comments

Can Come to any Good

7 years ago today I went into the hospital for what might have been called a routine test based on a minor concern. My blood pressure was a bit high. If I remember anything, when I think back, I remember … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Gabriel | 4 Comments