Category Archives: Life After Children

If I am not

If I am not a mother, even of a dead child, what am I? I am many things. Wife, friend, child, Aunt. I am a knitter, a good cook, an erstwhile gardener. I am a management consultant, a sometimes project … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Life After Children | 10 Comments

Two Planes and Twenty

I stood on my front porch this morning and watched two planes pass over each other. One slowly ascending and one descending. My hand held at arms’s distance marked them twenty degrees apart, the moment they passed under/over each other … Continue reading

Posted in Baby Loss, Life After Children | 2 Comments

Me too

I got an email from one of the co-ordinators the other day, asking me about my project allocations. Effectively, she was noticing that I was 130 percent allocated to projects, plus I was doing some internal work setting up a … Continue reading

Posted in Life After Children | 11 Comments

Resilience

If I could leave only a single gift to my nieces and nephews it would be that. Resilience. If I could only teach one thing to grieving mothers, it would be that. Resilience gets a bad rap. It gets trampled … Continue reading

Posted in Life After Children | 3 Comments

I Wonder

I sat, in a puddle of sweat, wondering. Tucked at my desk, in the corner of an office that was to be a nursery. My chair sits where the crib was going to be. I missed a spot of the … Continue reading

Posted in Life After Children | 13 Comments

I have no better explanation.

Than to tell you it was on sale, and I dearly wanted the star wars game and the gaming console came painted like R2D2 (with a controller painted like C-3PO). If you were wondering, Mr. Spit told me about the … Continue reading

Posted in Life After Children | 12 Comments

Structural Tension

One of the commentors yesterday asked if I wanted people to tell me about, what is in essence, their fertility. Did I want people to tell me they were expecting, did I want them to talk about their pregnancy? When … Continue reading

Posted in Life After Children | 9 Comments

Two Solitudes

I suppose there are two problems with the situation. The first is a bit more straight forward. I have a colleague, one I would have called a friend, and his partner was pregnant. The first I found out about it … Continue reading

Posted in Life After Children | 13 Comments

Even Here?

We had 8 couples over for our Marriage Group on Saturday because it was our turn to host. What turned into 17 people was far, far too many for our house. I found it, to be frank, quite overwhelming. There … Continue reading

Posted in Life After Children | 19 Comments

What Once Was

Every so often, mostly in that liminal space as I fall asleep or begin to wake up, my brain is free enough from the tethers I keep on it, the daily cares of life, and I begin to understand that … Continue reading

Posted in Life After Children | 13 Comments