Sunshine and Sorrow

I am bone tired, but I want to write, I need to write.

First, I was wrong, dead wrong – my SIL made a joke tonight – about me, which was mildly sarcastic – and I think it will be fine this week. I think I had a stick up my butt for no apparent reason and I needed to get over myself. It is just that the sense of humour is so important at these points in time.

We started packing up and cleaning out the house today. It was. . . Bad. The house needed a good clean, and more than that, my FIL has smoked 2 packages a day, and I tell you, he has not opened the windows in a decade.

The entire time I was cleaning, sorting, tossing, I expected him to come out from somewhere, mad. While Mr. Spit was sorting through his clothes, he kept expecting his dad. It is such a hard thing, to open the door, even as you are expecting to be able to call out “dad”, and knowing there is no one to answer, no one will get up, he is gone.

All there is to clean up, to pack away, and to laugh. I am thankful we have family to do that with.

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11 Responses to Sunshine and Sorrow

  1. tash says:

    I did this with my grandmother’s apartment, and the smell is what got me — the smell that was so *her* it was impossible not to believe she wasn’t sitting on the couch in the next room.

    I’m thankful you have family too, and humor + chocolate + bourbon goes a long way in these situations. Much love to you all, and an extra hug for Mr. Spit. I’m thinking of him tons.

  2. Two Hands says:

    I’m glad you were wrong! Anything to make this even one iota easier is a blessing. Sending you and Mr. Spit my love.

  3. loribeth says:

    Glad you were wrong too. Family friction is not what you need at a time like this. I hope the cleanout/cleanup goes as smoothly as can be expected. (((hugs)))

  4. Needles says:

    Its good to know you are feeling better…that isn’t the right sort of word is it? But it is good to know that you have found a sort of peace with it. Sometimes laughter is the only way to get through it.

  5. erin says:

    My thoughts are with you and Mr. Spit. It is never easy packing up someone’s life when that someone is no longer there. Reading your post took me back to packing up my grandma’s house – you take all those memories of years and its strange to see them sorted into boxes and bags. Stay strong and you have the love of all your online blog friends supporting you both!!

  6. Hmm, glad that humour or humor or humors or whatever came in to help ease the burden.

  7. Heidi says:

    I’m glad SIL is better behaved that you had thought she would be.

    I hope that happy memories and memories to make you laugh come with each new drawer you open, and cupboard you empty.

  8. HereWeGoAJen says:

    Are the walls yellow? When we cleaned my grandfather’s apartment, it was yellow. I sprayed cleaner at the fridge and it ran down black.

    I’ve been thinking about you.

  9. Kristin says:

    Thinking about you and praying the whole process goes smoothly.

  10. Reese says:

    Still here thinking about you!

  11. Andie says:

    Sending you condolences and prayers in this difficult time …

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