Spend the Day with Me

Get up at 4:40. (whether you call it 4:40 or just 20 to 5, it’s still unspeakably early)

Drive to the airport.

More or less completely undress yourself at security.

Now, imagine yourself in a bathtub. Cover the bathtub. Add wings and 2 propellers. Add in 30 other people.

Imagine that the stewardess, before the plane takes off, saying that there is not enough weight at the back of the plane, and could 4 people please move to the back of the plane.

Imagine 39 minutes in this bathtub.

Land, find taxi.

Take taxi to office.

Spend 2 hours educating people about a new software system.

Steal a granola bar and another cup of coffee from the training people.

Get in a taxi.

Go back to the airport.

Completely undress again.

Board yet another bathtub. Add wings. Add 2 propellers. Add in 48 other passengers, including 5 very small, very unhappy children.

Add in a 20 minute delay. In the bathtub, with the unhappy children, while they sort out luggage. Contemplate getting out of the plane to help.

Finally take off. Spend another 39 minutes flying, while the plane bounces around.


Walk off the stairs to the plane, walk across the tarmac and into the terminal.

Try and imagine how small the plane really is, that they can’t pull a jetway up to it.

There, you just spent the day with me. Aren’t you glad?


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7 Responses to Spend the Day with Me

  1. Penbleth says:

    I haven’t been on one of those tiny ‘planes since I flew home last year for my uncle’s funeral. Tiny, tiny, low and loud. I thought at one point I could reach out and touch the mountain top, probably could.

    What a busy day for you, hope I you had cup of tea, or coffee, waiting for you when you got home.

  2. I have a migraine and nausea just reading about this, ugh. Your company needs to get on board the remote meeting train, we use Web.ex at work, very nice and it would save $$$ which appeals to all you number folks.
    Hope you are doing well, big <3 coming your way.

  3. Mr Spit says:

    Yeah, but it was FUN! 😉

    Gotta love Dash-8s…

  4. HereWeGoAJen says:

    I have been on those planes and they are small. I have also been the person who moved to the back so the plane didn’t tip over.

  5. a says:

    Well, I do get up at 4:45 every day. I don’t think I would want to get on your covered bathtub, though. Anything that requires rearranging the passengers sounds unsafe. But I imagine it’s too far to drive for a day.

    Don’t have any more of those days…

  6. Jamie says:

    That is not my idea of a bath AT ALL. But it is an appropriate comparasion since you do have to undress prior to boarding, after all.

    As I take off my coat, empty pockets, dump out purse, take off shoes, stuff liquids in a ziplock baggie, etc, etc I often think about how long it has been since my parents last flew (about 25 years) and think how horrified they would be.

  7. loribeth says:

    I don’t like flying in really small planes. Or really big planes, either. Small planes make me feel too vulnerable, & big planes always leave me thinking too much about how they manage to stay up in the air. Too bad the train system sucks in so much of this country. :p It’s better here in S. Ontario & (although I haven’t been on a VIA train in years) it’s a pretty civilized way to travel, if you have the time.

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