How to Live Forever

Dear Gabe:

Your life was so terribly finite, and my grief it seemed so infinite.

And yet.

Today, in a place far away, a woman that neither of us has ever met will walk for March for Dimes. And she will do this for the memory of you. She will do this, in the middle of her own heart break, remembering a little boy named Luke, who should be there too.

And at times like this, for all of my words, I cannot say what I really want to say. There simply aren’t words to say to someone like this. Little boy, in a way that I never could, she has made you live, just a bit more fully.

The faith I baptized you in says that in dying we fully live. I made those promises for you, knowing that you would go and meet the God who gave you to me far sooner than I. And a friend I have never met has reminded me once again of the power of ressurection.

Gabe, there’s a little boy with you. His name is Luke, and he should be with his mum, and he isn’t. Go and find him. Tell him that his mum is special and precious beyond anything. And both of you, know this:

You are remembered. Your memories as close as our breath. You have entirely outlived your tiny bodies, and your presence reminds us of the need for mercy and goodness. You are not here, but you are not gone.

All my love,


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24 Responses to How to Live Forever

  1. Kristin says:

    What a truly beautiful and heart-wrenching post.

  2. HereWeGoAJen says:

    Good job making me cry on a day where I was wearing mascara.

    I’m just about to put up pictures.

  3. Farah says:

    Hugs to you both.

  4. Terri S. says:

    I came from Jen’s site. What a very sweet post, while I have never met you or Jen – my heart aches for you. What a great thing she did.

  5. This is beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss but so glad to know your love through your words.

  6. Beautiful – and what an amazing connection this internet has created.

  7. Susan Zurich says:

    Absolutely beautiful words … that no mom should ever have to speak or hear.
    God bless you.

  8. Manda says:

    Here from Jen’s link… This is an amazing post. It took me a while to read it through the tears, but I’m so glad I did. Thinking of precious Gabe and Luke today.

  9. Heidi says:

    You and Mr. Spit and Gabe and Jen and Luke are all in my thoughts today. Love to you all

  10. Elizabeth says:

    No words, just tears.

  11. Mrs. Spit,

    I’m here from Jen’s page.

    Your writing has really resonated with me. As I sat here and read your letter to Gabriel aloud to my husband, and then read Gabriel’s story, I felt your hurt. Your heartache. It is such a painful place of sorrow. I know. Your writing is a beautiful tribute to him. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  12. Tigger says:

    With Elizabeth – no words, just tears. It’s rare that a post brings me to tears.

  13. Beautiful, Mrs. Spit. I’ll be thinking of ALL of you.

  14. Mer says:

    I don’t comment very often, but I have to tell you this brought me to tears. Beautiful, beautiful post.

  15. Angie says:

    Beautiful. Love the title of this post, and the sentiment. Jen is a beautiful soul. And way to make me cry when I’m all ready for bed.

  16. Sarah says:

    Absolutely beautiful. I am moved to tears. Thinking of Gabe and you.

  17. Penbleth says:

    Beautiful and moving.

  18. linds says:

    What a beautiful and touching post Mrs. S. It made me tear up. Thinking of you and Jen.

  19. Cece says:

    Crap crap crap. Sobbing.
    I’ve been on the verge of tears for days – and honestly needed a good cry. I miss my Nora. And I love the idea of Gabe and Luke hanging out together. I know that Aaron and I live our lives differently because of Nora – in a good way. So she lives on with us too.

  20. Searching says:

    Ah, just add my tears in too. So beautiful, in honor of two much loved little ones.

  21. Hollie says:

    Amazing… beautiful… tears.

  22. Sue T says:

    What a beautiful post. I sit here in tears at how simply and beautifully you wrote. Hoping that your Gabe, found Luke and that just maybe they are playing in the sunshine with my twin boys Trace and Quinn who also left us far too soon.

  23. Stacey says:

    This post is… breathtaking.

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