Him: How would you rate your excel experience – on a scale of 1 -10, if 3 is a normal.
Me: Excel or VBA?
Me: 8 and 4. I’m self taught. I know some VBA stuff, but it takes me longer than it should.
It was a strange thing. When I started using excel about 10 years ago, I knew almost nothing. I hadn’t learned it in University, and I just never really had to use it. I use it all the time now. I am the princess of pivot tables, the vice regal of vlookup, the count of charts.
I do a lot now.
I can sort and group and conditional format and solve and create references. I can chart and split and filter.
But it’s still hard. I know I’m good with excel. I know that I whiz around and that I do all sorts of things and I can figure stuff out.
Maybe if I had a certificate. Maybe if I had a nice framed piece of paper that said I had mastered X level of excel. Maybe then.
I looked at that screen on the chat client a long time before I answered. I looked at it for a very long time and I thought really hard.
At times like this, when I’m asked to stand on a limb and rate myself, it always feels like I am waiting. I am waiting for that person to say “you aren’t really qualified. Who do you think you are kidding. What are you doing with the smart people, with the big kids. Back to the world of the minions, where you belong”
When I answer those sorts of questions, I then start to worry. What if I do something and they look at me and think I’m an idiot. What if I don’t know something that is really basic, what if I do something really stupid. What if I make the sort of mistake that you can’t recover from.
It’s a dumb way to live, I’ll admit it. It’s dumb and it’s not based on facts and and and.
And I still do it.