The best thing I can say

Get a loaf of bread and some kosher salt.

Walk around your bathroom in a circle.

Get some sage.

Smudge it.

In your bathroom.

Normally, I must confess, I would consider this ideas to be the epitome of hocus pocus and woo-woo.

I think I’m going to walk up to the bakery tomorrow. I have the kosher salt and I planted some sage in the garden.

The bathroom vanity? The one that has been all the problems, well the porcelain sink is broken.

Oh, I don’t mean, “dearie me, it’s cracked.” I mean there is a hole the size of Texas with radiating shatter lines out from it and that baby is going to leak water everywhere.

What is it with the leaking water in my bathroom anyway?

Yesterday we drove to every big box store in town. You see, we bought this vanity last February, from Costco. Costco, in that maddening way of theirs, doesn’t sell it anymore. They do sell a vanity, but it’s beautiful modern glass and it doesn’t work. We could return the broken vanity, but we have to find another one.

We checked on line for several other stores. There are 30 inch bathroom vanities in this town, but they are either holycowthat’sugly/howmuchdoyouwantmetospend,IthinkI’mhyperventilating or ohgoody,Icanbuyathirdpairoftapsnow.

So, here are our options.

Option 1: The best, but we can’t see it actually working out because nothing else has.
Call the manufacturer. Explain the bowl is broken. Because the bowl is glued to the granite counter top (not screwed like it is supposed to be.), have them ship us an entire new top. Expected problems? Well, I can’t imagine what language they will speak at the other end of the 1-800 number, but I doubt it will be english. Surely I can google enough french/mandarin/armenian to say “please give me a new top, the one I have is broken.”

Option 2: Buy the “well, at least I don’t mind it, and that’s several levels better than I totally hate it, 24″ vanity, that is 6” too small and then tile/wainscott around it so that it does fit. Expected problems? Well, it looks cheap. I had carefully bought a moderately priced vanity that looked quite expensive. It’s also going to take a fair bit of work to get it to fit into the bathroom.

Option 3: Buy the custom built cabinets from a store that will perfectly fit the space, in the finish of our choice. On the bright side, they will have features we want (a drawer, for one) and they will be well built and will not look cheap. Expected problems? Well, the cost for this renovation will just about triple. It will also take 6 weeks to arrive, so we will be without a bathroom sink for that much longer.

so, here I am, broken stop cock valve to the left of me, broken vanity to the right, stuck in the middle with you.

Tell me what you would do?

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10 Responses to The best thing I can say

  1. anonymous says:

    1. Option 1
    2. Option 3
    3. Option 2

    In order of personal preference.

  2. I’m pretty sure that if they ship it to you, it will arrive broken / cracked. Happened to us twice, first the sink and then the toilet. Its the joy of porcelain. I would try finding a better 24″ vanity…

  3. HereWeGoAJen says:

    I think I would work on option 1 first. One suggestion for calling 800 numbers- if at first you don’t get an understandable person, call back four hours later. And then another four hours later. I complained about an airline 800 number once (and actually decided it was easier to drive to the airport, pay to park, and talk to a ticket agent instead of calling the 800 number again) and I was told that they have several different phone centers around the world that are open at different times. And some of them are located in Canada or Ireland, so if you try during hours that they are likely to be available, you might have better luck than during, say, India’s daylight hours.

  4. Shelley says:

    I have lurked on your blog for years and love your writing. As a veteran of more home improvement projects gone wrong than I care to remember I wanted to offer an alternative.

    In the US big box stores sell vanity tops with sinks in 31 inch sizes that might work if they are available in CA? Here is a link to Home Depot’s site:

    May your bathroom Money Pit soon be fixed! Good luck!

  5. a says:

    Three times as much, you say? Well, I would probably return the broken one, and try to find the most reasonably priced alternative (even if it is 3X as much), because what’s the use in redoing your bathroom if the end result is something you hate? There’d better be a BIG pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, is all I’m saying. For all this trouble, when it’s done, you should want to spend all your time in that bathroom.

    You forgot option 4, though. Move. 🙂

  6. Aunt Deb says:

    hmm…Vanity thy name IS mud! Mrs. Spit will understand this comment. Here is just a thought. When we were trying to find a bench for the kitchen ( not quite the same I know) and having a horrible time finding anything that would fit, we discovered that we could actually get one custom built for a reasonable amount. In fact, it turned out to be much cheaper in the long run and we got exactly what we wanted and it fit! Just a thought, try phoning some small one man outfits. They may be happy for the work and it may prove to be worth your while.

  7. debby says:

    Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.

    I get the very cheapest thing I could get and still call it a bathroom sink ~ even buy something used. Slap it in there any old way, order the expensive one and wait the six weeks using the crappy cheap one. Put the new one in, donate the old one to a habitat for humanity, or other charity home improvement group, and take the tax write off.

    There you go. You get what you want and you still feel like a good deed doer. You’ll probably not remodel the bathroom again for a dozen years or more, so what the hey. Get what you want, even if you have to wait.

  8. loribeth says:

    Definitely return the current vanity. I don’t know what you should replace it with, but I sympathize. I had a heck of a time finding a vanity I liked when we redid our bathroom a few years ago… it was the best of a bad lot (& of course the most expensive).

  9. jen says:

    I second the idea to call a cabinet maker. We were very surprised that they were much more affordable than the cabinets at the local big box store and better made, too. We actually didn’t need to get ours custom made, they were able to order the sizes we needed (which were unusual) from a vendor they use that had bulk pre-made cabinets. They were solid wood and gorgeous. I wish you luck – home renovations sucks!

  10. Kristin says:

    Option 1 first, then option3, then option 2.

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