To start with – thanks to all of you for your lovely and wonderful comments yesterday. I was worried that no one was interested in reading the random bits of my life and I appreciated all of your good words.
So, I got this espresso maker.
It’s a not bad one, and as I was sipping my latte this evening, I started thinking about all of the simple things in life that I enjoy. It sometimes seems to me that this is the nature of adulthood – oh you appreciate the trips and the glitz, but at the end of the day, it’s the smaller things.
They are the sorts of things that you might have even called silly, once upon a time. You would not have realized that a warm, long and soft flannel night gown could be all that you needed. You would not have realized the delight in sitting down with a decent latte that you made.
There are a great many times if I wonder if it really is so wonderful to be an adult. There are times that I am certain I don’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would back when I was, oh, 16.
The bills pile up, there are difficult decisions to be made, you spend over an hour on hold with your cable provider trying to fix a problem. You go to work even when you don’t want to, you are nice to people you don’t like.
You do these things because you are an adult, more particularly a responsible sort of adult, and while you do them, you sit and wonder what you were in an all fire rush for, if this was what you got. You wonder why you wanted to be an adult anyway.
And then there’s the other side of adulthood. Maybe it’s because you are aware enough to know how many people have nothing. Maybe it’s because you know the cost of a thing or because you have lived long enough to realize that you could kill yourself keeping up with the Jonses and they would be ahead of you again before you were in the ground. I’m not sure what it is, but –
Somehow it seems, I want a bit less as an adult. Well, I want a bit less when it comes to things – I want more when it comes to ideas like justice and fairness and freedom. It’s easier to make me happy now.
I realized a thing that 16 year old me could not have ever comprehended. In my warm flannel nighty, with my new slippers, sipping a latte I made and talking on the phone with someone I loved – I am fortunate.