A word

This is a blog about a woman with no children. If you don’t like what I write, I have a suggestion. In the right corner of your screen there is an x. Click it. Close this blog and go elsewhere.

Normally I would have started this post with a nice story – trying to make the point that we can all just get along and see each others point of view. The hotel Internet is down and I just don’t have the time or patience.

I am an ordinary woman who found herself in extraordinary circumstances.

I write about not having children in a world that is consumed with them. I have never suggested that others’ children remove my happiness. The last time I looked, writing about how others’ words made me feel – writing without any sort of personal attack – that was a reasonable use of my time and this space.

I am tired of pointing out that I like children. I am tired of pointing out that there are multiple paths to happiness and being told I am thoughtless or that my musings are morally wrong.


This entry was posted in Etiquette. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to A word

  1. WTF!! Who would tell you those things? You should not have to justify your choices. I’m so sorry.

  2. a says:

    Ugh. I’d like to read the other post for more context, but the fact remains that you were struck by someone else’s words enough to write about them. That’s what your last post was about, wasn’t it? That’s what I got from it.

  3. Michele says:

    Your blog- and you- are awesome. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

  4. Jennifer says:


  5. Kate Smith says:

    You are much kinder than me. Or perhaps you just have more self restraint. 🙂 Keep up the good work, Mrs. Spit!

  6. Barnmaven says:

    I can’t think of a time that I’ve gotten the impression that you don’t find happiness in children or in other people’s children. You are honest about the times that other people’s attitudes and assumptions about parenting engender feelings of loss and anger and otherness in you, yes, but those are honest feelings you are referencing and exploring. You don’t use your stories or your words to attempt to shut down other voices, you use them to offer your own perspective to the common thread. Its unfortunate if someone has chosen to misunderstand your words or the way you’ve shared them.

    Keep writing. Forever, please. I love your work stories and your dog stories and your car and your remodeling adventures and your thoughts on spiritual things and – well, pretty much all things.

  7. Erica says:

    I think one of the reasons I keep coming back to your blog is because are so straightforward about writing from your own perspective and write about it so thoughtfully (well, that and your sense of humor of course). Your words help me think in ways I might not otherwise. I find this incredibly valuable. I’m sorry you are getting comments that make you feel tired and under siege, and I hope it doesn’t discourage you from writing.

  8. loribeth says:

    I am sorry you received such a comment. Being childless/free for whatever reason does not automatically mean you don’t like children — even if you find it difficult to be around them at times, for reasons that anyone who has dealt with infertility & pregnancy loss will understand. And anyone who is a regular reader of your blog knows how often you & Mr. Spit are doing things for other people’s children. (((hugs)))

  9. Betty M says:

    I’m sorry you got that kind of a response. Ive always wondered why people come and say stuff like that without first taking the time to read what is a lady here which if they did they would realise their comment was entirely idiotic and they wouldn’t make it at all.

  10. Julie says:

    Once again I am surprised by someone’s insensitivity. It takes a lot of nerve (if you can call it that) to criticize the feelings that you expressed on YOUR blog. I know I am among the great majority who appreciate your honest perspective and I hope you keep sharing.

  11. Em says:

    You were compassionate to me at a time when I needed compassion, knowing you only through the dead baby blog we have in common. You are someone who’s blog makes me smile and sometimes makes me sad but of which I read every post. Your heart is right where it needs to be and it is tender and compassionate. I’m sorry this person was an idiot.

  12. Carmen says:

    I’m confused. I’m sorry you even had to write this post today. Or the one yesterday for that matter. I won’t be clicking the x.

  13. Jamie says:

    I’m so sorry. People never cease to amaze me.

    This is your place. You have every right to have your own feelings and wright about them here. Not to mention your posts are very well thought out, well written and just plain funny. Yes – click the X in the top, right corner. The rest of us are enjoying ourselves here.

  14. debby says:


    What? That is just…stupid.

  15. Mer says:

    It goes without saying that even if you, in fact, hated children, this is your blog, your space, your thoughts, and you’d have every right to write those things without a concern in the world about what anyone else thought about them.

    That said, one of the things I find most inspiring about you is just how much you continue to love children, especially the ones in your life, despite the loss of your own and despite how hard it is for you at times. It’s so reflective of the truly good and compassionate heart you possess, which makes the idea that you could hate children, or anyone, all the more ridiculous. I’m sorry you were subject to such comments.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *