Proof that I am an Adult

It’s not that I file taxes every year or that I hold down a job or that I navigate through airports.

It’s not that I cook (some of the time, quit snickering). It’s not that I am responsible for the care and feeding of animals or that I am occasionally called on to mind small children.

It’s not that I vote in elections and try and be an informed consumer.

No, none of that is proof that I am an adult.

I just killed a spider. All by myself. No screeching, no squeaking and no squirming. No fuss and no muss.

I saw it, I killed it, with my bare hand.

I didn’t run across to get my neighbour, I didn’t curse that Mr. Spit wasn’t home (killing spiders is one of his primary marital obligations. The other is lifting heavy things.)

I killed it. I killed it with my bare hand.

I am an adult. You should fear me.

(Now, if you will excuse me I need to go and wash my hands for the third time, I have a case of the heebee jeebies)

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9 Responses to Proof that I am an Adult

  1. Jane in London says:

    Now, I can only deal with spiders when camping, or when dealing with Brownies at the same time.

    Present me with a spider in the bath, and it’s like the Flanders and Swann (?Swan) song….

  2. a says:

    With your hand? That’s why God made shoes! And Kleenex! And magazines to roll up and whack things with!

    Congratulations on achieving maturity? 🙂

  3. Carmen says:

    Ok wow. I’m not there yet. Not sure if I ever will be :/

  4. debby says:

    Spiders, I can handle. Snakes? Well. That’s why there is a Tim.

  5. loribeth says:

    Spiders I can (usually) do. But both times we had a mouse in the house, dh had to take care of him. And he’s worse than I am in some respects. I supposed I could have done it if I were by myself — but I probably would have used a shovel to pick up the carcass. Dh wore rubber gloves & two thicknesses of plastic bags. (Both times, he tossed it, trap & all, into the dumpster out behind the strip mall close to our house.)

  6. HereWeGoAJen says:

    Most spiders are gross to kill because they make that little popping sound when you squish them.

  7. Maureen says:

    Or you could be like a small boy child I know. Stick live ones down your cast on your leg because Mom tells you to not put them in your pocket. Even the guys cutting off the cast (to check for spider bites) said that was a first.

    I hate millipedes.

  8. Erica says:

    I do fear you, I do!

    I am usually the spider wrangler at my house, but I always use paper or tissues.

  9. anonymous says:

    Common grey spiders and little baby lizards should be spared and transported outdoors, if at all possible. Usually use a sheet of paper to do the job. Why so charitable toward these arachnid and herpetic creatures? They do the work the good Lord designed them to do, eating nastier things: mosquitoes, flies, roaches, silverfish, etc.

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