(Not So) Smart

I packed last night, and I grabbed those nylons. They were off to the side in the drawer, and that told me that I had already worn them once and that there was a problem with them. Because I am not very smart, I didn’t throw them out after wearing them once. No, I let some misguided thriftiness get in the way of sanity.

I pulled them out and I looked at them, and I thought: “those are too small”.

I knew: I knew in my bones that they were too small and they were going to roll down my body when I walked and I was going to have an uncomfortable meeting, and a long day, and that this whole idea was dumb and I should throw those out, and go and buy more.

I put them in my suitcase anyway.

Last night, as I rolled into Victoria some 5 hours after buying my plane ticket, I thought “I should go to the drug store and buy another pair of nylons. The ones I have are too small.”  But the drug store was a few blocks away, and the coffee and pumpkin tarts were right handy, so I went and had a coffee and a pumpkin tart instead.

This morning, as my alarm went off, I thought “must leave the hotel early enough to get a new pair of nylons.” I had another cup of coffee and chatted to a colleague over breakfast, all the while carefully not buying another pair of nylons and conclusively proving my idiocy for all time.

About the only think I did today that might indicate I have the brains that God gave sheep is this: I put my underwear on after my nylons.

So, when I started walking to the meeting and my nylons rolled down my body, as I fully knew and expected they would; at least there was something to prevent the run away train down my legs. Right in front of my new client.

It’s uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I have a lump where you shouldn’t have lumps.

But, it’s not like I’m going to go and buy new ones.

That would be smart or something.


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6 Responses to (Not So) Smart

  1. HereWeGoAJen says:

    I hate those things. I never wear them if I can avoid it at all.

  2. Needles says:

    Only the Queen has never had this happen and that is only because she has people.

  3. a says:

    I hate it when my nylons roll. Sigh – it doesn’t even matter if they fit me properly or not.

  4. Debby says:

    We all have our unrealistically blind optimistic moments where we believe in magic…you, that somehow the panty hose will miraculously fit. Me, that thrift shop shoes that show absolutely no signs of wear and are darling to boot will not be painfully uncomfortable.

  5. Claire says:

    So many times. SO So So many times. Feeling your pain.

    I mean I could sit here and pontificate and advise on buying in bulk, stocking up, etc etc but…meh

    Next time wear pants 🙂 and enjoy the coffee (so not sure about a pumpkin tart. What would that even be like?)

    Or suspenders? What about suspenders ? No rolling down, super sexy and easier to go to the bathroom. But i have always worried about the tension on the elastic dangley bits. If that got too tight would it suddenly release the stocking and fling back and smack me in the head?

  6. Neeroc says:

    Underwear OVER hose. Pure genius. (Not that this ever happens to me of course)

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