I asked the Developer what I thought was a simple question. A software module I need isn’t working. At least, I don’t think it’s working. It doesn’t seem to be working. (I don’t even know about the not working thing any more. )
I keep asking and he keeps talking to me and it starts all right. Then, suddenly, in the middle of the conversation, he’s still talking and I’m still nodding, but we are no longer talking English to each other. I swear to you, it’s like his mouth is moving and words are coming out, but I have no idea how to put them into any sort of explanation that I understand. It’s the teacher in Charlie Brown. He doesn’t even seem to use the same words each time.
I mean, based on about 15 conversations in 72 hours, I have gleaned that there are multiple environments, and they have multiple installs, and they don’t match, but the problem probably isn’t there, but maybe it is. And there is something about a table and a time out error, and they increased the time out and the error went away but the problem didn’t go away and then there was something about intrinsic something or other. And then there was something about engineering and a patch and another patch and maybe reversing a patch. That’s all I have gotten.
If someone asked me what the problem was, I would answer like this: “There are 3 problems. I think we need to do X, Y, and Z to fix them. It will take me about 2 weeks. I’ll let you know how it goes”.
See? 4 sentences. 30 words. Everything you need. Even in English.
When I ask him, I get an answer that sounds a lot like “because purple and alligators don’t speak left.”
And I don’t know. Can you put that into a status report, do you think?