I held my son in my arms for an hour. He was mine, ours. Loved and wanted.  I can feel him in my arms. I can hear myself singing to him.

He would have been 5 today. He would have been a little boy. My little boy. Our little boy. There would have been presents and cake. He would have been so very loved.

He would have. . .

I can fill a life with those words.

Just not his life.

Because he couldn’t stay.


Dear friends and loved ones,

With great joy and heartbreak, we wish to announce: at 10:26 PM on December 10, 2007, Gabriel Anton was born into the hands of Cathy, his midwife, sang to in the arms of his mother, rocked in the arms of his father, bathed in the arms of his grandmother, and baptized in the arms of Regula, his Parish Priest.

At just after 11 PM, he was carried to Heaven in the arms of the Angels, where we will meet him again one day. At 520 grams (1 pound 2.4 ounces), and 33 cm (13 inches) he was wee, with 10 fingers and toes, and a full head of hair. He was a perfect, but very tiny baby.

For where your treasure is, there also will be your heart. Luke 12:34


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21 Responses to Then

  1. Jen says:

    Abiding with you today. Happy birthday sweet Gabriel.

  2. Mr. Spit says:

    Five years ago seems so very far away now. Yet, with a breath, it’s so very present.

    Little Gabe, we miss you so. While we have continued living, we wish it could have been with you alongside us, not just in our memories.

  3. loribeth says:

    Tears at my desk here this morning for you, Mr. Spit & dear wee Gabriel. Holding you all in my thoughts & prayers.

  4. Eskimo kisses 4 u says:

    Thoughts and prayers to precious Gabriels family. Happy birthday sweet boy.

  5. Lisa says:

    I stopped by from LFCA when I saw it was your little man’s birthday today. I’m thinking of you and your family and sending birthday wishes to Gabriel. I hope the day is gentle xo

  6. tash says:

    Thinking of you all today, and especially remembering Gabriel. It’s hard to believe so many years have passed, and yet not so very hard at all.

    Much, much love.

  7. Michele says:

    Happy Birthday, Gabriel. I so wish that you could have stayed….

    Hugs, many many hugs

  8. Gloria says:

    Happy Birthday in Heaven sweet little guy. Many hugs to your mom and dad as they remember today.

  9. Carmen says:

    Love to you & Mr Spit today as you remember sweet Gabriel.

  10. March is for daffodils says:

    Thinking of you and of Gabriel. I wish he could have stayed.

  11. Catherine W says:

    Dear Gabriel Anton. Beautiful boy. Remembered and loved.

  12. HereWeGoAJen says:

    Thinking of all of you today with lots of love.

    Happy birthday, Gabe.

  13. GeekChic says:

    My thoughts are with you, Mr. Spit and Gabriel. Peace to all three of you.

  14. Kathy says:

    5 years. Wow.

    Sending peace, love, light, thoughts and prayers your and Mr. Spit’s way and remembering Gabriel with you, always.

  15. a says:

    Thinking of your Gabriel today…

  16. Alexicographer says:

    Out here thinking of you, and of Gabriel, and of Mr. Spit.

  17. Cara says:

    Sending love for Gabriel and his family on his birthday.

    (Anton was my grandfather’s name and I’ve always liked it.)

  18. Reese says:

    Happy Birthday sweet Gabriel.

    Love to you both tonight…

  19. MissingMolly says:

    Beautiful, beautiful baby.

    I’m so sorry.

  20. Vicky says:

    Your beautiful son…..I so wish he could have stayed.

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