Last night at 11:30 when I slammed my text books shut I was unable to subtract 55 from 70, and I was convinced that I knew nothing.
I posted this on facebook and noted that my exam studying seems to be well on track then.
My PMP exam is in a little over 2 weeks. I’ve been studying since September. I’ve spent a fair bit of time with my head in a text book. The textbooks have more airmiles and have seen more airports than most people.
They get hauled everywhere. They get pulled out everywhere. So do the flash cards. (I have told Mr. Spit and Mr. California that they should make me answer PMP questions before giving me food.)
And last night was my first melt down, in which I figured that I did not know enough, would never know enough and the whole thing was going to be a terrible failure and my job was going to fire me, and we were going to lose our house and have to go and live in a cardboard box because I was too stupid to pass an exam.
(I am rather absolute while having a meltdown)
It’s funny – I keep returning to central things when I get like this. If I fail, I will re-study and take the exam again. It will be embarrassing. I will wish that no one knew. It’s not the end of the world. It’s only money to re-book, and it’s only time to study more.
In the interim, I have information to keep in my head.