When you think you can’t.

I don’t often talk about how close of a thing it was – that Gabriel was born on the margin, and the wrong side of the margin.

750g was what our hospital called the tipping point. The point at which a baby born had a good chance of a meaningful life.

Gabriel was 520 grams at birth.

230 grams
8 oz.
1/2 a pound.

A hair’s breadth and a heartbeat too small. A tiny gap, and a gap that is miles wide and kilometres deep.

20 years ago a baby born at 32 weeks was a dicey thing.

10 years ago a baby born at 28 weeks was a dicey thing.

10 years from now, perhaps we will have a cure for pre-eclampsia, and perhaps we will be able to handle a baby with a gestational age of 23 weeks – when our Gabe stopped growing.

Jen is trying to help.

If you can, could you help her, help our babies, well that would be great.

Jen at the March of Dimes.

This entry was posted in Baby Loss. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to When you think you can’t.

  1. niobe says:

    This is one place I try not to let my mind go. Because when I think about how close a thing it was, I want to cry.

  2. Bluebird says:

    I understand. Our babies were 8.1 and 10.9 oz – but yet still just way too early.

    Sometimes I’m glad they were *so* early because it keeps me from thinking about the margin quite so much. It’s heartbreaking, and could tear you up if you let it. I’m sorry you were so close.

    And thanks for the link.

  3. Heidi says:

    So close…yet so far away.


    clicking the link now

  4. Martha says:

    Heartbreak by grams. Clicking over to JenGabriel.

  5. mlg- believe-n-miracles says:

    Heartbreaking, I wish it were different, so close but yet so far.

  6. alicia says:

    it is so great that she is walking for Gabriel!

  7. luna says:

    I think about this all the time.

    39 years ago my cousin was born at 27 weeks, which was the cusp of viability at a top rate university hospital. they still call him miracle baby.

    two weeks ago, a family friend gave birth at 24 weeks at her family believed they would just have a tough time with a premie. and I thought IF YOU”RE LUCKY, though I know full well luck has NOTHING to do with it. I just couldn’t believe how assumed the baby would ultimately be OK, just because she was born at the cusp of viability.

    life is so fragile.

  8. Jen says:

    It is truly my pleasure to be walking for Gabriel. The March of Dimes took care of polio, so I believe that one day there will be an answer for pre-eclampsia and premature delivery.

  9. JamieD says:

    I think the same thing. I mean, look at all the other things we can do. Is preventing or curing pre-eclampsia and saving mothers and their babies asking too much?

  10. Sticks and Stims says:

    will click over

    i can now be found at meinsideout.wordpress.com

  11. Busy Momma says:

    so much love to you. the pain is inbelievable.

  12. Heather says:

    I think about that often, how truly close we were. And we weren’t quite as close as you.

    It breaks my heart. Really does.

    Shortly after my daughter was born a friend gave birth to a 9 lb + baby, and I screamed at the injustice. Why couldn’t we have had just one of those extra pounds? It would have made all of the difference.

    I really hope that in 10 years babies like Gabriel will make it. Thanks for the link.

  13. My4miracles says:

    Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts so eloquently, thank you for supporting the March of Dimes and thank you for keeping Gabriel’s memory so alive.

    How much is a gram worth?….sometimes an entire life.

    With warmest thoughts from a fellow mom to a 1pound 6oz 24wk son, born and died 11yrs ago and alive in our hearts forever.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.