Tuesday was the sort of day where I had a plan and the plan fell apart before I got to work. Well, to be honest the plan actually fell apart before I had breakfast.
It is, for the record, very hard to give a scuzzy guy hell, while on a call, because he has screwed up, when you are wearing a bathrobe and your hair is only half done.
That was my Tuesday. It fell apart before 8 am.
I had booked a meeting with staff and I didn’t show up, because I was on another call.
I spent a lot of time managing someone else. Someone who doesn’t even work for my company.
I am getting better, I can go to a meeting and solely focus on the meeting. The problem is the inbetween time, when I have an hour and six things to do, and I can’t seem to get it all together and run through it before I run out of time. And I feel like a hamster on a wheel, not able to get anywhere.
Every conversation feels rushed, I am not in the moment, I am not fully present with the people around me.
And I hate it. I hate that I am rude when I am not fully present, that I am distracted and I am sure that the people around me must feel like they must dance for my attention.
I hate it.
And I have no solutions for it. It’s fine to point out that I have gotten better at being in the moment when I am in the room, but still. I wish I was more in the moment all the time.