Mr. Spit and I are on the hunt for a lawn mower. The old one died last fall – after admission to the Lawn Mower Hospital, where we cordially but firmly signed a DNR – and then managed to not think about grass cutting all winter; with the arrival of spring, we are looking with trepidation, the grass it is a-growin’.
We look at the price tag and think manual reel mower, and then we look at the work (our backyard is quite small, but we also do the fronts’ of the houses, and down the side of the neighbour’s property) and we think gas? electric? battery? $500?!?! We look dismissively at the riding mowers, and then I am seduced by the lime green Gardena lawn mower, but am afraid to confess to Mr. Spit who understands about such things as small engines and corrosion and blade deck depth that well! hello! it’s lime green! With snappy orange accents! Also, made by the same people who made my hose sprayer and water wand and sprinkler, and I like those well enough. And at this point, $500 is looking like a price I am willing to pay, just to make the whole problem go away. Look at her running toward the checkout with a box in the cart, waving her Visa card, shouting sold. (And now is probably a good time to point out, if you are buying something worth $500 the box ought to be a whole lot bigger. A Whole Lot!)
I spout aphorisms like “It is only the rich who can afford to buy cheap things”, and then I say, ‘”well, a penny saved is a penny earned“. And frankly, my eyes have long since glazed over. This is what being a homeowner means? I must converse intelligently about lawn mowers?
Then the whole discussion starts over again. It is not a particularly productive discussion, and this discussion, immediately necessary though it be, is not helped by the fact that lawn mowers are located precariously close to the bedding plants and seeds, leaving me easily distracted.
“But that one has a 4 year warranty. . . Oh, look, cup and saucer vine. Wow, I’ve never seen gladioli in that colour before. . .”
And then Mr. Spit (
lamentably understandably) gets a touch cross with me, and he draws my attention back to the lawn mowers, and I am then distracted by deck furniture, BBQ’s, garden accessories, and the final stopping point, pool accessories. (Chez Spit is, sadly, lacking in the swimming pool department, and there is, I confess, quite simply no sane reason for me to be interested in pool chemicals)
But here I am, with visions of a lime green lawn mower dancing in my head, wishing for a 50% off sale.