I present myself as a deeply rational person. I work in IT, I believe in science. I’m logical and sensible and not given to flights of fancy.
Except for the parts of me that are deeply superstitious. Anna used to get this. She understood how you could be both sensible and rational and still not want to tempt fate. Fate is ugly and possessive and prone to jealous fits of rage. Whatever you do, don’t tempt fate. Keep your secrets and your hopes and your wishes to yourself.
knock on wood :: cross your fingers :: spit :: throw salt over your shoulder
I’m doing all of that. Then some.
Here’s the thing. Ms. Fab has always told me to relax and enjoy the process of starting a new relationship. I have always maintained that she is absolutely crazy. No one likes this. This is awful. It’s stressful and annoying and frustrating and I’m always on the back foot and out of my comfort zone. It’s horrible.
Except for this time. This time I realized that I have no idea how this will end, but I’m enjoying the process. It doesn’t feel stressful or forced or contrived or confusing. It feels quite normal. I’m really enjoying it.
I’m really enjoying getting to know him.
I finally understand why people like this process.