All my Thoughts on Thoughts and Prayers

I’m gearing up for my next round of MS drugs. For those who haven’t been following along, this is where evil pharma shells out $70,000 in compassionate coverage for drugs that my insurance won’t pay for. These drugs are chemo drugs, which means that I barf and lose my ability to taste anything and I suffer from crippling fatigue for a good two weeks. The bonus is that I will probably lose 10 pounds before my convocation. So there’s that.

Preparation consists of buying an absurd amount of over the counter drugs to manage any possible complication from barfing (which won’t help), to Tylenol, for the headache (also won’t help) to a wide variety of anti-allergy medications (which also won’t help, there will be a rash). I’ve also laid in a store of Boost. Mostly because I can tip it back while plugging my nose. This will help because I can’t taste anything anyway.

I posted the photo of the Boost on Instagram and Facebook. With a pithy comment. Most of the reactions were fine, except for the one from someone who was praying for me.

I was a Christian for most of my life. When they say that they are praying for me, I believe it. I know it to be an earnest and sincere offering. I suppose I’m not clear on what they are praying for or what good it will do. If you are praying for a cure, well, about that. It’s just, that’s going to be stem cells. And since those are ethically a problem, if you are a Christian, well there’s a dead baby thing. So, you aren’t praying for a cure, or at least not the obvious one.

Which leaves me wondering if you are praying for me. Only, if that’s what you are doing, it does seem that you might want to ask for what I need. I could use some prayers for a quiet week at work, or that my veins would hold up through all the days. If you must pray –

There’s an obvious problem with that too. Really, if I can have my druthers, what I’d like are a few casseroles. Maybe some company. A willingness to run for Gravol when I run out. Or maybe, if I know you and I like you, you could hold my hair and give me something to wash my mouth out after I barf. If that’s a bit too servant leadership for you, perhaps you could shovel or walk the dog. Those would be handy. You could just come for a visit (if you are healthy).

As it stands, an atheist, an agnostic and a Buddhist are going to take care of me. They’ll drive me to my appointments, make sure I have food, shovel the walk, walk the dog and make me tea. They aren’t going to pray. They’ll be rather busy.

So sure, you pray. Someone probably should.

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6 Responses to All my Thoughts on Thoughts and Prayers

  1. Jane says:

    Stem cells. Now, I read about something like that….

    (is that the sort of thing that you’re doing? Is it an option in Canada?)

    Were I closer, there would most definitely be casserole: and possibly chilli in an effort to provide something which tastes of something (which digestion might or might not appreciate). As it is, I have Horlicks poised and ready to go.

  2. Debby Hornburg says:

    Have you tried Emend for your nausea? Ms. S, I wish we lived close enough that I could run a casserole over on a regular basis.

  3. Reese says:

    If I lived closer I would do the proactive things. Things that Jesus may or may not have done. But it reminds me of a meme I saw where Jesus was saying stop praying for your diabetes to go down. Lay off the bread and hit the treadmill, Linda.
    Hope this rounds goes well.

  4. loribeth says:

    This is why we need a national pharmacare plan. :p Hope your chemo goes/is going/went well. And glad you have some friends close by to help. (((hugs)))

  5. Debby Hornburg says:

    Hope all is well.

  6. Peg says:

    Thinking of you. Hope the treatment isn’t too awful and you’re getting some help and respite.

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