This week is the 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time.
Ordinary time is all the time in the Church Calendar which is not Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, or Pentecost. Put another way, Ordinary Time makes up about sixty percent of the Church Calendar year.
This morning I got up, had coffee and something to eat, bought cat food, ran a few more errands, ran into a former classmate and chatted for a bit, and then picked up my dry cleaning.
It was . . . ordinary.
I say this because when I decided to defer my acceptance for the next Master’s Degree, I didn’t have good words for why. Oh, the people who know me understood what I was thinking – but I couldn’t really succinctly explain it.
I needed to figure out how to live.
My son died in December of 2007. I spent 2008 trying to figure out how to breathe without him. In 2010 I went to Calgary to train a few people in ARIS. I came back from that project, having worked 60, then 80 then 100 hour weeks. When the project went live, I said I learned to dance. 6 months after go live, I went to work for my first management consulting firm. 3 years. 3 Promotions. An average of 46 weeks on the road. I woke up and couldn’t see out of my eye. 2014 was the year I was diagnosed with MS, my mother died, my marriage fell apart. I switched jobs in 2015. Figured out how to live with MS. I started an MBA in 2016, I got divorced in 2017, finished the MBA in 2018.
I do not know how to live in Ordinary Time.
Oh, I have relearned how to live. With the death of my child. When I decided there would be no children. On the first big project. As a road warrior. With MS. While getting an MBA. As a divorced woman. None of that was ordinary.
I’ve regretted deferring my acceptance. There’s nothing to look forward to. It’s not easy. I’m bad at living in Ordinary Time.
Which is why I’m doing it.