Atom and Void

Leucippus in 500 BCE was the first philosopher to suggest the idea of atoms – something which is uncuttable and cannot be composed of anything else. Lederman calls the Higgs bosun the God particle because it gives us all mass. We found it when we proved it could decay into other things. Atomism, not quite yet?

Lucretius, in 50 BCE gives us the first ontology – that nothing can come from nothing and nothing perishes into nothing. The physicists trying to figure out exactly what happened in the Planck Era are in search of nothing. Something from nothing, in a void?

And Einstein. Einstein of a multitude of universes where another you made the choice you didn’t. Where time goes backwards, forwards, swirls in a kaleidoscope of repeated choices and patterns. Physics and philosophy at once.

We are trying to see the smallest parts of ourselves. We are desperately trying to plot where we came from and perhaps then, where we will go to. We ask – ourselves, our loved ones, our gods, our galaxies and our bosuns – why?

And we hear. Thoughts. Voices. Hymns. The hum of cosmic radiation.

Today I will wake up in the eleventh year without him. 4,015 days.

I will ask why.

Having let go of God and hymns, I will let the background hum of radiation tell me – we came from a void into atoms. Matter is neither created nor destroyed. Einstein tells me – somewhere, somewhere a mother and a father and a son are together. As predictable as the speed of light.

Happy 11th birthday little boy. I miss you still.


Dear friends and loved ones,

With great joy and heartbreak, we wish to announce: at 10:26 PM on December 10, 2007, Gabriel Anton was born into the hands of Cathy, his midwife, sang to in the arms of his mother, rocked in the arms of his father, bathed in the arms of his grandmother, and baptized in the arms of Regula, his Parish Priest.

At just after 11 PM, he was carried to Heaven in the arms of the Angels, where we will meet him again one day. At 520 grams (1 pound 2.4 ounces), and 33 cm (13 inches) he was wee, with 10 fingers and toes, and a full head of hair. He was a perfect, but very tiny baby.

For where your treasure is, there also will be your heart. Luke 12:34

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5 Responses to Atom and Void

  1. loribeth says:

    I have been thinking of you & Gabriel today. Sending love. xoxo

  2. Naomi Miller says:

    This is a beautiful and heart-rending tribute that will stay with me for a long time. Thinking of you as you remember Gabriel.
    Best wishes,

  3. Stacey says:

    This is beautiful and devastating. I was thinking of you and Gabriel today. I’m so sorry for your loss, and sending a big hug.

  4. March is for daffodils says:

    Gabriel’s birth announcement is so beautiful. Happy 11th birthday, Gabriel. You are missed.

  5. jane says:

    Loved then and now … carried forever with you .

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