I asked if he wanted to get divorced. He said that he had started filling out the paperwork and ordered our marriage certificate.
That’s that, then.
In the last 6 weeks I have had two different complete strangers ask if “I didn’t think that people could work out marriage difficulties if they just tried hard enough?”
I think so many things:
I think that people should keep their opinions to themselves.
I think that lots of marriage problems could be sorted if both people tried.
I think that when I stood in front of God, my family and my friends and I promised “til death do us part”, I meant it. I knew what I was promising, I knew it would be hard; it was a promise and I meant to keep it.
I had tried. At year 10, when I very nearly left him, and decided to try and fall in love again and did. It was hard work. I did it in 2014, when my marriage wasn’t working again. And on a day in December of 2016, I thought about trying. For the fourth time.
Here’s the honest to god truth – I was tired of trying. I could have. I just didn’t want to.
In doing so, I broke my word. I broke it knowingly. It was the right thing to do, but still wrong to break my word. Perhaps the worst is that I don’t regret it. I’d do it again.
And I’ve sat with that since 2pm last Sunday.