Because I’m worried about my job (I think I’m going to be laid off in the next 2-4 weeks), the general state of the world, an uncle in congestive heart failure and a nephew who is dying, and I will not be able to get to him**, I am teary.
Bread is a soothing sort of thing. It reminds me of how much I love cooking for others, how much it connects me to the people I love. I made bread for J’s. son, who reminds me so much of Travis that it sometimes takes my breath away.
So universe, if you are listening. I know Travis and David won’t talk to me anymore. I know that when they returned a wedding gift, I was never going to be told what I had done. I know whatever it was, I’m likely very sorry for it.
But Universe – they are still my nephews. They will always be my nephews. They get included in the total count and always will be. I can’t bake bread or make mashed potatoes or knit for them. So universe, if you would keep an eye on them – deal gently with them? I’d appreciate that.
*Does this work as a nickname? He was J. in my phone for quite a while, while I hoped things would work because I liked him, but wasn’t sure.
**Update to Sit Rep – The border has not been militarized, but no one official on the Canadian side is recommending travel. They aren’t sure if I would be allowed in, or at what points I could enter and they have been very clear that if I catch Covid 19 and die, no one from Canada and our socialized healthcare is coming to get me.
I am so sorry about the timing and the total ineptitude of the U.S. federal government. I’m in Maine and our numbers are low…but my daughter the doctor said we are in this for the long haul and it’s only going to get worse. The party in power here has done nothing right for 3 1/2 years and now people are paying with their lives. As hard as it is for you to be so far away, it is the safest place. I have sons and daughters-in-law and grandchildren in the Boston area, all healthy to date. I want nothing more right now than to wrap my arms around all of them; even that is too risky right now. Sending you a virtual hug~
I think the biggest tragedies in life are the whys which are never answered. I’m sorry for your losses. You truly are going through a horribly dark time. I am grateful for the bright spots in it.
I am sorry Travis is still not speaking to you. You deserve so much better. Glad you have a new young person in your life to spoil. I hope he appreciates it!