No End Date

When the Alberta Covid-19 social distancing measures started, way back on the 13th of March (which was more or less 10 weeks ago, if you were counting), I set up a zoom meeting with friends and former colleagues each Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Originally, I set the recurrence until the middle of April. Then to the May long weekend. This morning I just changed it to “no end date”.

I am largely fortunate. I could not be with my family for Andy’s death and funeral, but I have a comfortable home, an income (for now, I may well be furloughed before this is over), a loving partner, friends, pets, a garden to work in. I have some savings and groceries in my cupboards. I have the internet, which allows me to both work and play. I have more wool than I could ever knit in my lifetime.

In short, if I have to do this (and I believe we do), then I am reasonably well positioned to do it. Even if I lose my job, there will be government benefits, and existential angst aside, it will not be glamourous but I can keep body and soul together while unemployed.

Still. I live in a constant form of dread. Always a doom-laden soundtrack. It is mostly quiet, and I can mostly breathe through the times it gets loud.

But there’s no end in sight.

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3 Responses to No End Date

  1. Reese says:

    I know it feels like that. Not sure if you know what I do for a living (I’m a scientist working on this). There is an end. Just going to take some time. If you ever want to chat about it, or other things, I’m here. Shoot me an email.


  2. loribeth says:

    It’s hard sometimes to believe the day will come when we’ll be able to go out without masks & hug people again, isn’t it? 🙁 I’m very fortunate too. We’re doing pretty well. But it’s still hard sometimes. 🙁

  3. Debby says:

    I also am lucky, but it breaks my heart to know that a lot of people are NOT so lucky. It is a time for mindfulness and kindness.

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