When the Alberta Covid-19 social distancing measures started, way back on the 13th of March (which was more or less 10 weeks ago, if you were counting), I set up a zoom meeting with friends and former colleagues each Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Originally, I set the recurrence until the middle of April. Then to the May long weekend. This morning I just changed it to “no end date”.
I am largely fortunate. I could not be with my family for Andy’s death and funeral, but I have a comfortable home, an income (for now, I may well be furloughed before this is over), a loving partner, friends, pets, a garden to work in. I have some savings and groceries in my cupboards. I have the internet, which allows me to both work and play. I have more wool than I could ever knit in my lifetime.
In short, if I have to do this (and I believe we do), then I am reasonably well positioned to do it. Even if I lose my job, there will be government benefits, and existential angst aside, it will not be glamourous but I can keep body and soul together while unemployed.
Still. I live in a constant form of dread. Always a doom-laden soundtrack. It is mostly quiet, and I can mostly breathe through the times it gets loud.
But there’s no end in sight.