Hard Things

On the wall, above my bed is the photo that is in the blog header, and printed over it is “You were made to do hard things”.

I sometimes think the lesson of 2014 was that I was made to do hard things, but not all at once and not all the things.

I have gotten so much better at self-care and essential kindness in the last 5 years. I went to see my old therapist a few weeks ago about something unrelated to self-care, but one of the things I was so excited to tell her about was how much better at self-care I have gotten. A few days before my appointment, frustrated at school, at work, at life, I turned off. I had a bath, went for a walk, read a novel, put myself to bed early. I didn’t even hit the overwhelmed stage. I caught it well before that, knew what to do.

In short, I’m not the woman I was 6 years ago. More and more I embed kindness to myself in what I do. I may not put myself first, but I’m on the list. I’m gentle with myself so I can do hard things.

The gig came to me in another form. It was supposed to be smaller, it was supposed to be simple. A bit of help. It’s . . . . not that. It’s bigger. For the last 5 years, when something has gone wrong, when there’s been a problem, I’ve reminded people that no one would die. I have closed my laptop with work to do, because the work will keep.

When they came and found me, I tried to demur. Tried to say that we could find someone else, pointed out that I would be oversubscribed. And then my boss, the one that came and found me – she reminded me. This time people are dying. This time the work won’t keep.

Hard things.

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2 Responses to Hard Things

  1. Andrea says:

    I think one of the hardest things for humans to remember is: don’t ruin your own life because someone else’s life is ruined. We can empathize, we can sympathize, we can offer whatever help we can part with… but we mustn’t let others’ troubles & woes become our own.

    Do you have any recommendations for any self-care books that have helped you & that you enjoy?

  2. Debby says:

    In the end, it sounds selfish, but the decision has to be made always: 1) does what you do help others? 2) are you being used? 3) is what you’re doing eclipsing your own life, your own joy? 4) do you derive any satisfaction from doing it?

    All good people grow along the way. I think you are very good people.

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