Recurring Dead Meat

My shoulders are locked up. I can’t quite turn my head. This is what happens when you spend the amount of time I spend staring at a screen. Off I went to my massage therapist tonight, and as he manipulated, poked stretched, he commented where I was tight. Where I am often tight.

And as I laid on his table, felt his fingers trying to unlock muscles, breathed through, and leaned into pain, I thought about how you could track the weight of every project in a time-lapse picture of tightened muscles. I wondered if he could give a status report on a project, based on the number of muscle groups involved and how seized they are.

I worked 60 and 70 hour weeks between November and the end of last week, trying to juggle 2 clients and school. I finished my second project last week, and now I get to go back to probably about 50 hours plus school.

I have lost my demand, my desire, my overwhelming need to work as much as I did in my early 30’s. I took on the extra work because it was (and is) so very necessary. I’ve learned to listen to my body a bit more now. I drink more water and less coffee, I eat regularly and I sleep at least 7 hours a night. I stretch and talk gently to myself.

I suppose, if there is a point to this blog, I’d like to believe that all of the things I’m doing better at, the ways in which I’m better at balance, would reflect in less seized shoulder muscles.

And yet. The gentleman caller described the feel of my shoulder muscle as an overcooked and cheap steak. My massage therapist described my shoulders as “top 5 for bad”.

This sucks.

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2 Responses to Recurring Dead Meat

  1. Andrea says:

    Only when you get older still will you realize what a waste of life working that many hours is. Don’t trade-in time of your life for things like that. Quit school, get a part-time job, and smell the roses instead. 🙂 ~Andrea xoxo

  2. Debby says:

    I just bought a home tens unit for my shoulders. Perhaps it might help you between visits to that masseuse.

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